tach attack!

Well, the repaired tach didn't work, so the kind fellows at SPA sent me another one in the mail a few weeks ago. I never saw the new one. I explain below in the letter enclosed in the parcel for the old tach that I'm sending back today:

Hey Dan - Adam here - sending back the old tach. Maybe you can find out if there's something wrong with it.

We talked about you sending a replacement a few weeks ago, and that I should send this broken one back to Indianapolis once I got the new one. Directly after our last email chat, I received an email notification from USPS tracing the replacement parcel's route to me, and I just assumed it would show up at my doorstep early the following week. So I waited some days and figured it would be at my doorstep when I got home from work some evening. However, more days passed, and I then went back and referred to the USPS tracking number; this time it claimed that the delivery had been made a few days earlier! I can only assume someone must have seen the delivery next to our front door from our street and decided to steel it. How unforgivably stupid of me to be so trusting. Actually, we had some other person try to break into our house through the back window a few weeks earlier, so I should have been aware enough to have the parcel shipped to my office. Doubly stupid.

At this point, I've cost the world two beautiful SPA tachometers from my own foolhardiness. It's an awful shame. I must apologize as I think you all have done what you could, but some people are simply beyond reasonable help and must be culled for crop fertilizer. I've returned my human-viability card to the proper authorities and will be reporting into the nearest DMV for organ harvesting. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,
Adam Tracy